By i_love_2_live@hotmail.com

I remember how jealous my older sister always got when I was little and my mother would brush my straight, thick blond hair.

"You should have been a girl, Robin," Sis would say, shaking her frizzy, dirty-blond locks.

It bothered me because I was not a girl. I was a boy. Mom would sigh and tell me that most girls would kill to have hair like mine, not only thick and straight, but bright and shiny, too. The style for boys was to wear it pretty long, so I did. As I grew up, I compared my hair with other guys', and I always thought I had the nicest hair. Then, I started comparing it to girls' hair, and I envied them a bit for being able to style their hair any way they wanted. As my hair got longer, I wore it mostly in a pony tail.

I had always considered myself a normal teenage boy. I found I liked to look at the thin, willowy girls at school, but I could never muster the courage to ask one out. I loved it when they would wear something off-the-shoulder or a halter-top. I think bare shoulders and necks are very sexy. I also loved bare midriffs ... as long as the girls were thin and had curves. I imagined running my hands over their bare sides while my mouth nuzzled their necks and soft shoulders.

Then, slowly, as my teen years progressed, my fantasies began to change. It was my body being caressed, my shoulders and neck being nipped at ... by some man. I never could quite imagine what he looked like, but he would be older and stronger than me. I thought about crossing my arms around this man's neck, giving his hands free rein over my body while he kissed me.

I thought about this anonymous man a lot, about what he would want to do to me after he asserted his will and I surrendered mine.

I figured that I was probably gay, not that I had done anything about it when I was in high school. I ran track and was a pretty fair swimmer (with my hair packed under a swimming cap). I was 5-foot-8 1/2 and very thin. One day, I came upon one of my sister's fashion magazines. There was a male modeling Speedos. He was so perfectly thin that I almost couldn't tell where his flat stomach ended and his hips began.

He was very good-looking, but I realized that if I sculpted my body, I could be much better-looking. I could be beautiful. I couldn't really explain it, but I wanted to be able to attract a man someday, even if I wasn't going to let him touch me.

After I graduated high school, I had several academic scholarship offers, but I decided to take a year off to, I told my parents, earn enough to buy a car. I got a job in a fast-food restaurant where I didn't eat anything. What I really wanted to do was to get my body like the model's, if not better. I still went swimming, but I cut down on it because I wanted my arms to be toned, but soft, without too much definition. My waist didn't need much work, but I reduced my calorie intake and began a workout regimen to give me the tiniest waist I could have without it becoming too rigid.

I made sure my chest didn't get too hard. I was thin, but not emaciated. I was quite trim above the waist, but fairly soft, particularly near both nipples. My legs were trim from thigh to feet, and my butt was small, and, I thought, kind of sexy. As I approached 19 years old, I hardly had a hair on my body, and those I did have, I shaved.

After a shower, behind the locked bathroom door, I would wear my robe off both shoulders, let my hair cascade over my bare neck and shoulders, and pose for the mirror. I'd shimmy back and forth and pretend that my soft little mounds were real cleavage. It occurred to me each time that it wouldn't take much for me to pass as a woman. Perhaps I was just seeing what I wanted to see, but I thought I was beautiful.

I still thought of myself, though, as a man -- probably just a heterosexual man with a gay fantasy.

Finally, my year was over and it was time for me to leave my Connecticut home at age 19 and go off to college at the University of New Hampshire. After a tearful goodbye to Mom and Dad (my sister was already off to school in Boston), I drove off in the used car I had bought. It was raining and a bit chilly when I got to New Hampshire. I got a little lost on my way to the campus, and in my wanderings, I noticed a rather large adult book store and arcade, and made a mental note to check it out later. I had decided I wanted to buy a dildo, just to see what it felt like. I may be too scared to actually be with a man, but I felt it wouldn't do any harm to see what a dildo felt like as long as I could be gentle with myself.

It was late by the time I got all my stuff unpacked at the dorm. I was a whole day early, so there weren't many other students around. I was on my own at last. It was after 10 p.m., but I figured the book store would be open until at least 1 a.m., or maybe even 24 hours. I thought I might as well check it out and see if it had a dildo, maybe even with batteries that would make it vibrate. I showered, then dressed in sandals, cut-off shorts and an armless T-shirt cut to go down only to my rib cage. I looked in the mirror and raised my arms a bit. There was a pronounced concave from my thin ribs to my tiny stomach and then to the low-riding shorts on my hips.

I had sneaked off once to an adult arcade in Connecticut, but I didn't stay but a minute. An older man spotted me as soon as I went into the store and moved up close to me and mumbled something I didn't understand. I got frightened and left, but not before I noticed that they sold dildos and other paraphernalia in the store..

Now, in my dorm room, I thought perhaps I looked too good. I didn't want to attract any attention. I was going to change into something a bit less-revealing, but I said the heck with it and just put my raincoat on over my shorts and T-shirt. I stuffed most of my shoulder-blade-length blond hair under a cap and drove through the rain to the bookstore, where I was surprised to see that there was only one car in the large parking lot.

It was five minutes to 11 when I opened the door. Perched on a high stool behind the elevated counter reading a magazine was a burly old man, maybe 60 years old with a paunchy stomach, a black and gray moustache and what looked like about a five-day growth of beard. Not my dream man, or perhaps anybody else's.

He was not only ugly, but rude.

"We're closing," he said condescendingly, barely looking up from his magazine. I didn't say anything for a few moments, and he finally looked down at me. He hesitated a second, then resignedly said, "We're closing. Come back tomorrow."

The store closed at 11 p.m.? I was really disappointed. I don't know why I did it. I think on my first night away from home, while I had my room all to myself before my college roomate arrived, I really wanted to play with a dildo, and I since I was new in town, I didn't know anywhere else I could find one at that time of night.

"You know," I said while I eased out of my raincoat and looked up at him with my most-innocent, blue-eyed expression, "I've never been in a bookstore like this after it closed."

I removed my cap, shook my head, and my thick, straight blond hair cascaded around my bare arms.

I definitely had his attention now. His dark eyes drank me in. "There's so much to see," I said as alluringly as I could. "There's something I really want to buy -- a dildo? -- and I thought maybe you could show me around and help me find it and maybe some other stuff."

Oh my goodness, I was flirting! With a man. With a man I didn't find even remotely attractive. Just to get a dildo. I was thinking maybe I should just leave when he stood up and walked around to the door. His bearded, pock-marked face was expressionless. He was a giant, at least 6-foot-5, perhaps 6-6, and must have weighed about 270 pounds. I only weighed 133. He wore his pants belt under his belly, which jiggled under his checkered short-sleeved shirt with the shirttails out.

I had my back to him, but I could hear his key turn the deadbolt lock and turned my head to see him flick off all but two dim lights in the store, giving the place an eerie effect.

I was scared. Really not knowing what I might be getting myself into, but I figured that even if he tried anything, I could probably discourage him enough so I could just buy my dildo and leave.

He came up behind me. He was breathing hard, probably because of his age and girth. I felt his belly up against the back of my bare midriff, and his huge, rough hands go to my sensitive shoulders. An odd, sensitive chill went all through me as his mouth got very close to my right ear. I could feel his unkempt moustache as his surprisingly cultured voice whispered to me.

"Gay or straight?"

I couldn't say anything.

"Do you want to look at gay or straight things first?" he asked.

I figured dildos wouldn't be in the straight section, so I croaked out, "Gay, please."

I shimmied my shoulders and he let go, but he put a hairy arm lightly around my bare waist as he guided me to the gay book, video and magazine section. It felt both repulsive and intriguing. A much older man is interested in me, and by the way he was touching me, I was pretty certain he wanted me. But, I certainly didn't want him. I don't know who I'm saving myself for, but it's not this fat, ugly, old giant.

The store was a big place, with an array of videos, books, magazines, lingeree, leather items, handcuffs and yes, dildos. In the back was a curtain marking the now-dark video arcade. He led me to a display of gay magazines. With my hands on my thin hips, I walked down the aisle, looking at the covers of the magazines showing men doing things I never even contemplated. His eyes were all over me, and I got the feeling he wanted his hands to be, too.

"What's your name, sonny?" he asked.

"R-R-Robin," I said in what I hoped was a carefree manner. "What's yours?"

He didn't answer. He just stood there watching me be uncomfortable.

"What do you see that turns you on most, Robin?" he asked in an almost-professorial way that temporarily eased my nervousness.

"The kissing," I answered. "I guess I get turned on when I see the men kiss each other."

"Come with me, then," he ordered, taking my hand and leading me to the video arcade. It was almost pitch-black there, but he had no trouble finding his way to a fairly small booth. We were forced by the lack of space to stand close together while he took a five-dollar bill from his pocket and fed it into the machine. A heterosexual film came on, but he pressed a button four or five times and stopped when a film showing two young gays kissing came on. I had never seen men kiss before, and I was mesmerized. One of the young men had one hand behind his partner's head and stuck his tongue into the other's mouth. With his other hand, he was pinching the fellow's left nipple. At first, it was hard to tell whether the man being kissed and pinched was in agony or ecstacy, but he soon was moaning in his pleasure and rubbing his hands on his lover's back.

I was turned on, but very nervous.

"I think I'd like to leave now," I said.

My companion was breathing very hard.

"No," he said. "You don't want to leave now."

His huge hands grabbed my soft shoulders. I tried to shimmy away again, but I couldn't. His belly against my trim back pushed me into the wall, and his mouth attacked the nape of my neck. I felt helpless, frightened and yet ... strangely feminine.

"Please don't!" I said as I hunched my shoulder, getting his mouth away from my neck. I turned to face him. "I'm not ready yet. I've never ..."

His bearded, ugly face was red. His breath more labored, and he pressed my body against the wall with his.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he said as he grabbed my wrists and held them over my head against the wall. One of his meaty hands then held my thin wrists while the other explored my bare midsection. "You have got to be the best-looking person -- man or woman -- who has ever come in here."

He moved in to kiss me, but I turned my head. He moved my hair out of his way and nuzzled my neck while rubbing my torso with his free hand. His fat belly pressed against my thin one. Everywhere he touched me, my body reacted. His mouth on my neck sent chills all through me. He finally moved his hand up, and gripped my face. Holding my head straight, he kissed me. I struggled, but even at his age, he was much too strong for me. I instinctively closed my eyes, but I could feel his moustache, then his rough lips probing mine. Finally, his tongue invaded my mouth. I could taste the cigar he must have smoked earlier. I was 19 years old, on my first night away from home. An old man had told me I was beautiful and now he had his tongue in my mouth.

When I finally opened my eyes, his hand wasn't holding my face. It was caressing my bare mid-section. So was his other hand. My arms were no longer against the wall. They had somehow crossed lightly around his neck, giving him unimpeded access to my body.

And I was kissing him back.

The video played on, but its sounds were a blur. I moaned in the back of my throat as he kept kissing me and kissing me. His mouth was wet and demanding. His tongue touching mine felt so erotic.

Involuntarily, I writhed my trembling body into his thick torso while his hands despoiled my virgin flesh. His back and shoulders felt unbelievably strong as I ran my fingertips around them. He knew who was in charge ... and so did I. He was my man and I was his ... woman.

Still kissing me, he took my right hand and placed it on his crotch. There was a huge lump there.

"Did I do that?" I asked into his mouth as we kissed. My right shoulder moved forward seductively in response to his touch. I really was feeling the sense of accomplishment women must feel when their man has an erection. I was turning on an older man, and that was turning me on. I was so much smaller than he, so much younger. His gnarled hands and his smoky mouth couldn't get enough of me.

"Look, Robin," he said. I loved the way my name sounded when he spoke it for the first time. "My hands can go completely around your waist and my fingers can touch each other."

It was true. His giant hands had no trouble going around my tiny waist.

"Does that please you?" I asked breathlessly.

He didn't answer. He just drew me into him by my waist and kissed me. First so hard that it took my breath away, then his lips lingered on mine, barely touching them. I leaned back with my arms raised at either side of my head, partly because his belly was pressing at me, but mostly because it felt feminine to be so helpless.

He moved his mouth to my neck. I could feel his rough beard and then his wet tongue and teeth, and my body tingled. I looked over his shoulder at the video screen for the first time in several minutes. One of the men was sucking on the other's organ. It was wet with his saliva and very big and hard. The one doing the sucking seemed to really be enjoying himself.

Meanwhile, my man's mouth on my neck was making me swoon.

"All this," I murmured in my pleasure, "because I wanted to buy a dildo."

My man smiled for the first time. Then, he suddenly picked me up and carried me out of the video arcade. My arms were around his powerful neck. I found I loved being carried and surrendering control. He carried me over to the lingeree section, holding me with one powerful arm, while with his other hand, he took some clothing off one of the racks. He carried me into a small room near the entrance. It had a desk, a chair, a TV, VCR and a bed. Another door led to a small bathroom. He gently deposited me on the bed, told me he had to get something and said I was to put on the clothes he had taken off the rack.

He left the room. I was out of breath, dazed by what had just occurred. I took off my clothes. He had selected a harem outfit, silky-soft and virtually transparent. Most women couldn't have gotten into it, but it fit me beautifully. The top was worn off-the shoulders and only came down to mid-rib cage. The pants were worn low on the hip ... and had a large slit at the bottom to give access to ... everything.

Doing what I was told, I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror. My blond hair fell over my bare shoulders. I shimmied them back and forth. I was so pure, so innocent, so sexy!

So much bare, taut, milky-white skin. I ran my hands over my curvy sides. Then I caught sight of my man in the mirror as he put a plastic bag on the table. He caught sight of me, too. He grabbed my soft, bare shoulders from behind -- how did he know how much that turned me on? -- and bit my neck three times. Each time, I squealed, but he was like a man possessed. He finally turned me around, pushed me onto the bed and moved on top of me. He was all over me while kissing me and running his coarse hands over my bare flesh.

"Oh, Oh, Oh!" I cried, almost drowning out his heavy breathing. I had never felt so helpless, so used -- so wanted and desired.

His finally rolled off me, I thought, to catch his breath. But he wanted to talk. He sat up, with me seductively underneath, looking up at him. Reaching under my top with both hands, he gently pinched my nipples and looked intently into my blue eyes.

"This is what you've always wanted but never could have, isn't it, Robin?" he said.

I didn't know what he meant. I didn't know what to say, but he did.

"You've always wanted to act like a girl, haven't you?" he said. "You've wanted to dress up in frilly clothes and attract a man, but you never had the chance ... until now."

He pinched my nipples harder.

"Here, Robin, you can be as feminine as you want to be."

I wanted to be very, very feminine. For me ... and for him. His fingers on my nipples were beginning to hurt me. I tried to move his hands with mine, but he only pinched harder. I gently caressed the backs of his hands as he tortured my breasts, hoping he would stop. The pain became intense. I slowly moved my bare shoulders back and forth as the pain began to turn into pleasure. He removed his left hand from my right breast, but quickly replaced it with his mouth. He licked my poor, sore nipple a couple of times, then bit down hard. The room seemed to swim around me.

"Tonight, Robin, you're going to find out what it's like to be a woman. To pleasure your man when you feel like it ..." His face darkened. "... And when you don't."

"I ... I do feel like it," I said to the fat, ugly old man.

Reaching into the plastic bag on the table, he took out a new tube of lubricant ... and a moderately sized flesh-colored plastic dildo. He squeezed out some lubricant onto the dildo, then put some on his middle finger and applied it to my anal opening, He forced his finger into me up to the first knuckle. I hardly felt it, because he had resumed ravaging my nipple with his teeth. I was laying back on the bed, my slender arms impotently back on either side of my head, my head rocking from side to side, my long, beautiful hair being tossed this way and that.

He finally took his teeth off my breast and kissed my lips. I was so grateful to have him off my nipple that I almost didn't notice as he picked up the dildo and slowly inserted the tip into my rectum.

"You wanted a dildo," he said with a sneer. "Now, you've got one."

He went back to kissing me -- his moustache now wet with sweat and his saliva. With his left hand, he attacked my sore right nipple. With his right, he eased the dildo all the way up into me. It didn't hurt too much. I felt so full and sore and turned on all at the same time. Speaking of turned on, he turned a switch on the dildo, and it started to vibrate. He pumped it into me again and again as I writhed on the bed. With his left hand, he found the slit in my harem pants and inspected my very-hard 6-inch penis.

Then he bent down and put it into his mouth.

'No! Please!" I cried out loud. My body was one writhing, electric, helpless sexual entity. My beautiful hair tangled in my bare shoulders while I bounced and shimmied in that sexy outfit. My nipple, anus and penis were all being expertly exploited, and I knew I was going on sexual overload.

"Please stop," I moaned in my ecstacy.

But he had no intention of stopping.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I cried. "I'm going to cum! I'm going to cum!"

And I did. I never had felt anything close to the intensity of that moment. I screamed something, I don't know what. I strained against the dildo, his hand on my breast and his mouth on my penis. I rocked my slim, bare shoulders back and forth as he kept his mouth sliding up and down on my penis. He somehow captured every bit of my cum, although it felt like I had released buckets of it. It was so intense that I think I actually passed out for a few, brief moments.

When I finally opened my eyes, I was totally drained, limp and used. The dildo was uncomfortable, and I was glad when he removed it. He had a satisfied look on his face, but his mouth looked a little funny as he bent down to kiss me.

I soon found out why. He lay his weight on top of me, grasping me by my bare shoulders and kissing me, forcing my lips open with his. He had not swallowed, and my cum oozed from his mouth into mine. I thought it was disgusting and tried to move my mouth away, but he would have none of it. He grasped my shoulders tighter and thrust his cum-laden tongue into my mouth, finally making me swallow my own seed.

Suddenly, I hated him. Having cum, I lost all sexual desire. I felt degraded, and a little silly in that harem outfit with this huge, ugly old man smirking at me.

"Thanks," I said, sitting up. "I think I'd better be getting home now."

There was that smirk from him again.

"No," he said as he stood and began unbuttoning his shirt. "I don't think it's time for you to go yet. Remember, Robin, I told you that you will learn what it's like to be a woman and please your man ... even when you don't feel like it."

I didn't want to feel like a woman anymore. I just wanted to go home, but he pushed me back onto the bed with one powerful arm and took off his shirt, revealing a hairy, very flabby torso. Soon, his pants and underwear were off. He had a heavy bush of hair surrounding a thick, large cock. His left arm went around me, holding me tight while he moved in for a kiss.

I didn't want to kiss him. After I cum, I lose all sexual desire. Kissing this man seemed like the most disgusting thing in the world.

"Not as easy as you thought, being a woman, is it, pretty one?" he said condescendingly.

He lay on top of me and forced his lips onto mine. I hated it. I was repulsed, disgusted ... and helpless. He seemed to be having a wonderful time, not bothered in the least by my discomforture. I was still in the harem outfit, of course, and his hands and mouth were all over me. His naked body rocked on top of me. I was in agony. His wet lips on my neck made my flesh crawl.

But there was nothing I could do, so I lay back and surrendered. He kissed me, thrusting his tongue this way and that while his hands roamed over my unresponsive body. Then, his teeth bit into my very sore right nipple -- much too hard.

I looked up at him with surprise on my face.

"Don't just lay there, you cunt!" he said. "Suck my dick."

My eyes started to water, I don't really know why, but I felt like crying.

"I'm not a cunt," I insisted. "I don't want to ... to suck your dick."

His face appeared to soften. He gently took my left hand and sat me up on the bed. His lips softly caressed the back of my neck, and his huge, rough right hand did the same to my bare right shoulder. I didn't like it, but I relaxed.

That's when he slid his hand down to my right wrist and violently twisted my arm behind my back. He sunk his teeth into my neck, and I thought he might have drawn blood.

"You'll do what I say," he said evenly. "You are my woman, and you will do what you're told. Do you understand me, Robin?

For emphasis, he reached around my thin frame with his left arm and brutally pinched my left nipple.

I was helpless, hurting from my neck, my arm and now my nipple. I shook my head "yes."

"You're going to suck my cock, pretty one, aren't you?" he said.

I nodded, but he wasn't satisfied. He brought my arm up higher behind my back and squeezed my nipple harder.

"Tell me you're going to suck my cock, Robin."

There was nothing I could do.

"I ... I'm going to suck your cock," I gasped.

He released my arm and nipple, and lightly caressed my shoulder while his mouth gently sucked on my neck where he bit me. Then he lay back on the bed.

"Blow me," he said.

His fat penis had gone soft under his massive belly. His body seemed to be a mass of fat flesh and graying hair. Delaying the inevitable as much as possible, I stood up and adjusted my disheveled outfit. I put the top evenly below the tips of my white shoulders and placed the transparent pants on my slim hips. I put my hands through my long, blond hair, smoothing it out and putting half down my back and half cascading down my front.

"Gorgeous," the man said, his hands comfortably behind his head, revealing his hairy armpits. "You should have been a girl."

I was so tired of hearing that after all these years, particularly now when acting like a woman wasn't so pleasant, to say the least. I bent over him and rubbed my small hands over his massive, hairy stomach. I had never touched another man's penis. I leaned over and kissed the head, which had already begun to show signs of life. I moved my knees between his legs, and my hands still on his stomach, I prostrated myself in front of his hairy crotch.

"Suck me, baby," he said. "Suck me good."

I took my right hand and grasped his fat penis. I could hear his breathing and I could feel his pulse in my hand. I closed my eyes and took him into my mouth. I had never tasted anything like that. I began to suck him up and down.

"Yeah, baby," he moaned. "Suck that dick."

So I did. I opened my eyes, but couldn't see his face because of his fat belly. His penis started to grow in my mouth. I couldn't believe how big and fat it was in my small mouth. He was breathing so hard, it was all I could hear.

"Take it all, cunt," he ordered between breaths.

There was no way I could. I had his wet penis deep toward my throat when he grabbed my hair and forced my head down. I gagged and coughed but he kept pumping my head up and down. The thought revolted me, but I was hoping he would cum and put me out of my misery. There was no indication, though, that he was ready to do so.

Despite my revulsion, I found myself getting into a kind of rhythm. I was sucking an ancient cock, feeling its big veins on my tongue and trying to get it to cum. I noticed how sexy my bare shoulders looked as I was doing what I was doing, and I subconsciously hunched them into my body like a woman would. I began to slowly shimmy them back and forth and found myself rubbing my bare midrift up and down his hairy legs.

My goodness, I was getting turned on again, sucking on an old man's penis!

I began to really get into it. His hand pulling my hair up and down, my body writhing on top of him while I made appreciative moans in the back of my throat. My tongue tasted something sweet and sour at the same time. I figured it must be pre-cum. I was ready to make him shoot his load.

But he pulled my head up by the hair. My mouth at the top of a trail of saliva, I looked at him. We were both breathing hard. He pulled me up and kissed me on the mouth. I guess I was turned on again because I didn't mind. He then turned me around like I weighed nothing at all and placed me tenderly on the bed.

My little chest was going up and down, accenting the pit of my tiny waist as I lay back, my shoulders on my soft blond hair, my bare midriff moving slightly from side-to-side. He looked down at me, his massive chest and belly heaving. His penis looked so wide, I couldn't believe I had gotten it into my mouth.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he said.

"I feel beautiful," I told him. "What happens now?"

He actually laughed.

"What happens now," he said, "is that I fuck you."

I shook my head "no," but he reached for the lubricant and squeezed some on his fingers. He took my legs and placed them on his muscular shoulders while I kept shaking my head "no." He reached between the slit in my pants and stuck two fingers into my tight anus. It hurt ... more than the dildo had. I bucked and writhed, but he was insistent. Finally, he took his fingers out and squeezed more lubricant onto his enormous cock.

He reached down and grabbed my butt cheeks and positioned his cock at my opening. I couldn't move. I sobbed and begged him not to hurt me.

"Shut up," he said, and thrust that big cock into me. I literally saw stars. I was too overcome to scream as his hands manipulated my body as he impaled me. he must have seen the terror in my eyes because he smiled to himself, thrust hard into me and planted his lips on mine.

His mouth had such a strong hold on mine that I couldn't breathe. I thought I would pass out, but he finally released my mouth and attacked my neck with his mouth and teeth, all the while pumping into me over and over. I finally was able to catch my breath and cry out, and that only seemed to encourage him. He had a wild look in his eyes. He released my butt cheeks and ran his gnarled hands up and down my slim sides while his mouth attacked my neck. My bare, fragile-looking shoulders moved from side-to-side in total surrender to his wanton desires.

I was getting fucked, and I was starting to like it. His cock was sliding up and down in me easier, and my legs tried to wrap themselves around his fat torso. His hands moved rapidly up and down my sides. His face came up and looked at me in my obvious ecstacy and surrender. I reached up and tenderly took his head in both my hands, bringing his lips to mine. I gently nibbled on his lower lip with both of mine. As he slowly moved away, my teeth lingered on his lip. He was fucking me more violently now. My blue eyes stared seductively into his brown ones. I could tell he was getting close as he banged me up and down.

I shimmied my bare shoulders, and whispered, "Do me. I want you."

That did it. He shouted my name, grabbed my bare, soft shoulders and sunk his teeth into my neck. This time, I was sure he drew blood, but I was so turned on that I didn't care. He plunged deeply into me, and although I couldn't actually feel his cum, I knew that he was shooting his load into my virgin body. He kept pumping and pumping and I was keeping up with him as best I could.

Finally, he collapsed on top of me, breathing like an ancient locomotive and sucking at where he had pierced my neck.

He fell asleep where he lay on me, and his cock softened and plopped out of me. I lay there under him, my left arm resting around his neck. I hadn't cum again, but I had a strange satisfaction that I had pleased my man.

He woke up with a snort after about 15 minutes and kissed me tenderly on my lips. His arms drew me into him tightly, as if he knew he had had perhaps the last great sexual experience of his life. I kissed him passionately and told him I really should be going. He didn't say anything, but allowed me to get up.

I stood up, and he looked at me, Again disheveled, with a small trickle of blood coming from my neck. I went into the small bathroom, wriggled out of the harem outfit, urinated, washed my neck and stopped the bleeding with some toilet paper before dressing in the clothes I came in with. I smoothed my hair, with half on either side of my shoulders. Looking at myself in the mirror, I looked good, if a little tired. His rough beard had made my neck and cheeks a little red. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 2:40 a.m.

When I came out, he was still naked. He rose to meet me. In his hands was a pink teddy that he must have taken off the lingeree rack while I was changing.

"Stay the night with me," he said. "I'd like to see you in this."

"Some other time," I said. I tried to hand him the harem outfit, but he raised a hand and told me to keep it. "Here," he said, handing me the plastic bag with the dildo and lubricant. I thought that was sweet, and moved to him to give him a kiss goodbye on his stubbled cheek.

He ran his hands lightly up and down my bare arms. He brought my lips to his, and I submitted to him for one last time. His rough lips somehow seemed old and tired. I moved my arms around his neck and he ran his hands up and down my bare sides while we kissed tenderly.

I finally broke the kiss and said, "I've gotta go."

He held my bare, slim waist with both hands going completely around it.

"My cum is inside your body," he said quietly before kissing me again.

"I know," I whispered. "I've gotta go."

"I don't turn you on anymore?" he asked, kissing me again.

"No," I lied. "I have to leave."

I gave him a farewell kiss, allowing my lips to linger on his for a few moments and turned away from him. I looked around for my raincoat, and saw it near the entrance. "You'll unlock the door for me?" I asked.

I looked back at him over my right shoulder. I saw an ugly, fat, old man who was already in his 40s when I was still a baby. But this ugly, fat old man had just taken my virginity, and there was something about him in his nakedness that made me feel pretty, vulnerable and feminine.

"You wanted to find out what it's like to feel like a woman," he said simply. "I could tell that's what you wanted. Well, now you know."

I realized he was right. I had experienced trepidation, desire, fear, lust, indifference, humiliation, submission, pain and fulfillment with this man. My neck had been made to bleed. My head hurt from him pulling my hair. My nipples were raw and would be sore for a week, and my anus had been violated so violently that I didn't know if it would ever feel normal again. Oh, and my lips were chapped and tender from his countless kisses.

And there he was, his big, hairy belly sticking out, and asking me to return to his embrace.

As I looked over at him, I found my right shoulder raising up to touch my chin as my right hand went to my bare waist. He smiled, knowing that I was flirting with him again.

"Oh well," I said as I turned, reached up and rested my arms around his neck. "Let's see how I'd look in that teddy."

The end.

The author welcomes reaction to this story.